Travelblogue IV: Road to Nowhere

I want to be remembered as the lady who rolled up to the kitschy Flintstones’ Bedrock Village roadside attraction in rural Arizona with a fancy L.A. bakery box filled with a red velvet bundt cake, paid admission, went in, ate one sliver on a piece of Fred and Wilma’s garishly painted rock furniture with a travel spork, went out, and gifted the cashier with the rest of the cake.

She was thrilled. I would have been digging through it for white powder and razor blades, or explosives, maybe, but she just beamed at us.

Most of the memorials I had been seeing were for hard, enduring things: bridges, roads, stadiums. They were named after men—fallen soldiers, policeman, politicians. I started wondering what a gendered public memorial for women would look like. The only things I would want to be remembered for along the way were non-specific and non-concrete: a vista, a sound, an experience, an act, an intervention, a spontaneous gesture that led to a story a young Arizona tourist trap cashier would recount when she arrived home from work with a decadent (partially eaten) cake from a big city bakery miles away.

Outside of Oatman, Arizona, someone remembered “Bullitt” on a rock.

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My friend Chad and I had dodged burros in the middle of the road in an old mining town in Arizona, had dodged tourists gasping at the thin air at the Grand Canyon, had dodged elk in the road from the Canyon back to I-40, had dodged a near disaster by going too quickly over railroad tracks in Flagstaff (no, really, we thought we had scraped the undercarriage clean off the car). Whoever was not driving was snapping iPhotos of the landscape or making iVideos of the trains—the many, many trains—from the passenger seat.

We participated in a summer music festival on the plaza in Santa Fe, had the best ever brisket and green chile burritos in a blazing hot parking lot in Albuquerque, cursed the spotty cell reception in Hatch, began what would become a refreshment trope for the whole trip—Cherry Lime slushes—somewhere near El Paso, were stopped at a border check along the Mexican border (“Are you both US citizens?” “Yes, sir!” I leaned over from the passenger side to say to the obviously FEMALE officer in my flustered and irrational fear of being deported, as Chad fumbled with the contents of his wallet, looking for identification). We laughed, we sang, we tried to take a photo of the “110 degrees” temperature reading on the dashboard readout.

On the Texas Mountain Trail just before Sierra Blanca, Texas, “Mingo” and “Lupe” have their names spray-painted on a stone.

By the time we veered south from the interstate onto Highway 90 toward Marfa, I had unfurled. We were the only ones on the road, slowing to try (and failing) to catch dust devils on video, gauging how long the far-off horizon rainstorm would take to reach us (or would we overtake it first?), and thrilling to the silver dollar-sized raindrops when they finally came.  The hairpin turns of my first few driving days had corresponded to the kinks in my soul, but now the west Texas landscape was laying it out flat, smoothing it: I was getting a soul-ironing by the time we saw the large billboard just outside of town: “WELCOME TO MARFA.”

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Jenifer Ward is the Editor of Off Paper and Dean of the College at Cornish College of the Arts. Read installment #1 here#2 here, and #3 here!

 

Off Paper Welcomes Tessa Hulls!

Now that the balloons and streamers from The Project Room’s first birthday celebration have been cleared away, we here at Off Paper are having our own little party. Tessa Hulls, who has been editing “The Seen” section of the site in recent weeks, has accepted our invitation to join us as Assistant Editor.

Tessa is an artist/writer/adventurer recently back to Seattle after a long spell of wandering. Her work deals with themes of home and migration, and after a year that has taken her everywhere from Antarctica to Alabama, she’s excited to hunker down and help The Project Room explore the Big Question.

Welcome, Tessa!

Jenifer Ward, Editor of Off Paper
Brangien Davis, Editorial Consultant
Jess Van Nostrand, Founder, The Project Room

Touchstones

I like the juxtaposition of touch-stones and off-paper—the one physical, the other virtual. This “off paper” and online presence of The Project Room is entering its third year this summer and it seems like time to take stock, touch stones, and think of what has been and what is to come. While I carry the official title of Editor, the truth is that we operate as a collective Editorium: Jess Van Nostrand’s voice is always there as founder of The Project Room; Assistant Editor Tessa Hulls has provided a sense of continuity to us and has taken on steady leadership for content development in “The Seen” section of Off Paper; Brangien Davis is always available as a helpful resource and scout for potential connections between Off Paper and goings-on in the broader realm of arts and culture. And, truth be told, I was MIA for the last several months, dealing with some personal upheaval/laid flatness that I’ll write about soon. Without Tessa, Off Paper would have been offline—so first, a huzzah to her! And second, after a quick google, I am annoyed to learn that I did not coin the word “editorium”—but I still claim our identity as such.

Jess, Tessa, and I met last week at my apartment to reaffirm what we want Off Paper to be (and to nibble on treats, sip coffee and tea, and pour milk out of a porcelain cat’s mouth).

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What Off Paper is not: a slick magazine, with a fixed production schedule and paid employees. What it is: an online companion to The Project Room; a conversation partner to the events and programs of the physical space—liberated from time and place. Some of the pieces in Off Paper are directly related to programs; sometimes they inspire or are inspired by programs; sometimes they are just riffs on the themes of The Project Room (currently: How Are We Remembered?).

Coming up, we have musings by artists, makers, and thinkers—from around the world—in response to the question “Who Was Your First Hero?” Our own Tessa starts us off here; others include Author and Physicist Lee Smolin, followed by other creative voices in the arts and beyond.

We’re taken by how varied the forms of self-memorialization and remembrances of others are, and will be exploring some of them in Off Paper. Look for travelblogues, culinary histories, photo-chronicles, poems, essays, cartoons, and scribblings.

Are you working on something related to remembering or being remembered? We would love to hear from you. Whatever else Off Paper is, we want it to be reflective: of our days, our questions, our communities, our makings. Contact us at editor[at]projectroomseattle.org, and visit often for new writing!

Your Editorium,
Jenifer, Tessa, Jess

 

Janus Goes Off Paper

Like Janus, the god of beginnings and transitions, we look back over the first half-year of Off Paper and look forward to what might come…

Off Paper was conceived to be a literary counterpart to what happens in the physical space of The Project Room—a way to engage The Big Question for people removed from Capitol Hill in Seattle. The first few months have allowed us to refine what that might mean, quite organically, and to think about what we want to accomplish going forward.

My own piece—in which I crosscut between Mandy Greer’s Solstenen project at The Project Room, A.S. Byatt’s story A Stone Woman, reflections on my history as a scholar, adaptation theory, and an interview with Mandy—served as a kind of test run for an approach I hoped we could take in Off Paper:  foster writing that could occupy the space between straight criticism, straight scholarship, straight blog, straight anything. I wanted us to find an interstitial space that would defy conclusion and certitude, thus mirroring the mission of The Project Room. The writing that has followed has been quite diverse: different from mine, different from each other.

What holds across contributions, though, is this: every piece takes up subjective space. It is someone’s personal response to something that has happened in The Project Room or in Seattle, or responds to The Big Question, or ponders the evolution of this experiment unfolding on Pine Street. It is as transparent as possible, opens up rather than resolves questions, and is comfortable with being “always in the process of becoming” (pardon my invoking German Romanticism). From Amanda Manitach’s interpretive response to a group discussion among Seattle artists who interview other artists to Sharon Arnold’s personal tangle with the role of process in artmaking to Dan Webb’s exhortation that The Project Room not become just another art gallery, writers have entered an unfolding conversation.

So what might readers expect going forward, now that we’re ready to take off our training wheels? First, some “staff” changes (I put this in quotes, since we’re all volunteers): Brangien Davis joins us as Editorial Consultant aka Content Scout; Jane Wong joins us as Editorial Assistant aka Content Wrangler. The holidays are over, we have dug out from the snow (I love making us sound like pioneers on the frozen prairie), and we are excited to yoke up next to the newest project in the space, Beginnings.

Emmett V. Smith will follow up on his fall appearance in The Project Room with a reflection on his role as a curator in a maritime museum. Jentery Sayers will tell us about Digital Humanities: a movement firing up academe in which traditional humanities and arts scholarship evolves into “maker” culture.  And that’s just the, well, beginning of Beginnings—more of which will emerge from the events in The Project Room.

Finally, we hope to hear more from YOU: as contributors outright, or as commenters on pieces by others. Have an idea? Do send it to editor@projectroomseattle.org. We’d love to hear from you.

*”Going off paper” is a slang idiom that means to go off probation, off parole.

On Weeds and Stone

I.

If one were to consider Mandy Greer’s current project, Solstenen, as an “adaptation” of A.S. Byatt’s short story “A Stone Woman,” one might first do a close reading of the story—the source text—and then compare how the project—the adapted “text”—re-told the story living in their shared core.

A scholar of twenty-first century adaptation theory would first dismiss the question of “fidelity” as historically superseded, and then proceed to uncover how the narrative threads in Byatt’s work revealed themselves in a different time, through a different medium, and to a different audience in Greer’s work, thereby charting an evolution of a story.

Indeed, Greer herself cites Byatt as a source, and speaks directly to the identificatory processes at play in relating Byatt’s character Ines’ journey of slowly becoming stone to Greer’s experience of the birth of her son seven years ago. While Ines mourns the loss of her mother by growing stones where her umbilical cord used to be, Greer recalls the first days of motherhood and “the rigidity and un-familiar quality of [her] own body.” She continues: “it wasn’t so much breastfeeding, but more of a constant adrenaline of being a protector and the physical labor of that constant other body I had to deal with.” Both Byatt’s story and Greer’s, then, quite literally embody the question of the mother-child bond—one through death and severing, the other through birth and attachment. Solstenen, as adaptation, will yield a further interpretation of the Byatt story, as Greer crochets thread, fabric, and stones into wearable pieces for a site-specific work at The Project Room next year.

But how does a scholar of adaptation begin to approach the as-yet-unadapted? There are no texts to set side by side. The story of Ines’ mother’s death and Ines’ response to it has no counterpart yet in the silver and grey crocheted web gradually enveloping The Project Room this summer, as Greer…Mandy…pulls threads through loops in communion with material, with concept, with space, and with the people who visit the studio during her crochet gatherings.

One could, perhaps, note the gradual aspect of metamorphosis in both: Ines is an etymologist who categorizes and organizes meanings rather than lives them. After what the reader imagines has been an emotionless life, Ines’ excess of grief at her mother’s death slowly manifests itself as a web of veins and knobs of hard, jeweled mineral encrusting her body, beginning at a scar site on her abdomen. So, too, the yarns and scraps of fabric in The Project Room grow daily into ever longer looped arms, extending themselves over shelves, from hooks, down pipes. But the lightness of the room, the fan turning overhead, the hot water kettle, the large table, the friends and artists and passersby laughing and telling tales as the crochet hooks skitter through thread—this is all the furthest thing from grief.

II.

“You will never be a scholar, Jenifer. You feel too deeply.” When my graduate adviser said these words to me early in my academic career, I started on my own process, 18 years in duration, of pinching off every feeling that started to awaken as I dealt with German literature and cinema. When my heart pounded at a turn of phrase, I breathed deeply to measure it. When a scene was framed ideally for its purpose and I wanted to leap up and run toward the screen because it was so amazing, I made myself cross my legs, sit up straight, and sketch out the mise-en-scène in a notebook in the dark, coolly. And I succeeded. I published articles and book chapters and a book, I gave papers at conferences, I taught at well-respected liberal arts colleges and received tenure and promotion. And I told the other me (the peculiar and creative storyteller from Arkansas, the cook, the potter, the picture-maker, the singer) to go away. The scholar must be invisible.

Of course I disobeyed me. A tornado came in 1998 and blew things away, leaving in their place my once-hushed voice. I started to sing again, and write poetry, and replace trimming tools, and apply for jobs at arts colleges in Seattle… 

III.

Mandy and I first met at a dinner in The Project Room, as she told us (the board of advisors) aboutSolstenen. Given my own history writing about adaptations, I was fascinated by what residue of “A Stone Woman” would stick to this work, and I asked if Mandy would meet me for coffee to talk more in depth about this influence. It was not an interview per se—in fact, I scarcely remember asking a question. What I call up in my mind’s heart is two women at the Panama Hotel Tea & Coffee House, sharing tiny cinnamon rolls and chai tea and tripping over themselves to tell stories about what compelled them to make things: a parallel experience in graduate school of not being taken seriously by a male professor and the joyous damage it had done (we are both, after all, here and more fierce for it)—the making that escaped. We talked about literature and how Mandy’s “massive ingestion of books” as she was becoming a visual artist shaped her, about the fact that the art often resides as much in those moments of making and being stuck in the weeds of influence as it does in any finally freed, finally installed work.

“Products are an archive—the work is done. The process is what keeps me alive.”

We talked about Iceland and myth and A.S. Byatt and how 9/11 served as her “tornado”—where I took voice lessons and traveled to China, she bought tap shoes and a hula hoop. We considered metamorphosis and adaptation and evolution and appropriation and whether those are wholly separate or how they differ, if degrees of same. We mused on Ines and Thorsteinn, the Icelandic stone carver, and their relationship: a woman dying by turning to stone and in the process becoming more alive; a man who takes her as she is and is becoming. There was talk of mineral names and colors. Gregor Samsa and Kafka were mentioned (Gregor’s metamorphosis into a dung beetle being brought about by a too-present father, as opposed to Ines’ calcification resulting from a suddenly-absent mother)…. In short, we gave ourselves over to what Byatt calls the romance of scholarship, to not knowing, to the conversation one is in, the book one is reading, the thread one is crocheting.

IV.

“Who am I going to get entangled with because this story stuck with me?” Mandy asked this question rhetorically, and yet I think of it every time I visit The Project Room these days, just before the end of her residency. So many different hands created the work draping the room. So many artists and thinkers have sat around that table, asking the big questions and despairing of, delighting in, the not knowing. There will be people and landscapes and stones and threads and weeds in Iceland, as well, and when Mandy returns to The Project Room next year, she will have been transformed—adapted—by the time and space between now and then and here and there.

My scholarly tools are of little use in tracing this process, certainly not as a foreshadowing. A few years ago I might have spit out these words, still trying to re-claim a voice I had stifled. Now, I find relief and calm in having access to two languages, like Thorsteinn, the stone carver in Byatt’s story, who was only able to witness Ines’ transformation because he understood both the language of human reality and the language of myth and trolls. So, too, I live in the space between my ability to ground myself and do a scholar’s “close reading” of A.S. Byatt, on the one hand, and soar with curiosity about Solstenen as a process, on the other—knowing that an adaptation study is still premature. What will this work become? And what will The Project Room be, when Mandy comes full circle here next year?

Meanwhile, I will write these thoughts down (ending with a footnote—this voice, too, is my voice), since the grey-silver stone and thread piece that returns here on Mandy’s back a year hence will already be an archive of all that is unfolding. I feel (too deeply) like Thorsteinn, when he asks Ines if she will sit for him in his studio:

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“I too, he said, am utterly changed by your changing. I want to make a record of it.” 1

"What is the source story?" Photo by Jenifer Ward

1 A.S. Byatt, “A Stone Woman,” in Little Black Book of Stories (New York: Vintage, 2005), p. 149.